After an intense inner-transformation and lot of experimentation with personal development, self-expression, talking to 2-3 friends who are in this journey and meta-thinking over the last few months - I have become convinced about the framework that enables an individual to have a very decent chance at being whatever they want to be. This can also be used to rise from the ashes of your old-self or more simply recover if life has kicked you in the balls. There are 4 essential ingredients.
1. Workout
Your body is a temple and working out is a prayer. Feeling good in your body will fuel everything else in your being. This aspect also includes sleep and nutrition. Now this post isn’t about how to how to fix your diet or sleep - It’s simply an urge to finding your own personal answers to getting this right. This aspect is a constant journey in itself. You can’t just fix it in one go.
There’s no excuses, not even injuries. Plasticity is the key. Say you sprained your wrist during a workout - take it easy on the workouts and fix it with mobility exercises. Having stressful days? - no need to beat yourself up to go to the gym - simply do a yoga session. Don’t have a lot of time? - Do a 20min home workout. Wanna take it even easier? - go for a long walk. Need a change from your regular workout routine? - play a sport or go for a run.
2. Work on something you really love
It can be your work, hobby, purpose, passion. Believe in something. Ideally if it also makes you money that is the sweetest spot but it doesn’t have to be. Money is essential and many times we are stuck in places that we don’t necessarily enjoy but need it for the money - THAT’S OK. Just use the money and find the time to do what you really really love. It will make you feel fulfilled even if you are facing challenges in other aspects of life. The idea is to diversify the sources of happiness in your life and to believe in something bigger than yourself.
3. Work on your mind
Get in touch with your emotions. Learn to feel what you really feel. This happens with meditations, journaling, having deep conversations. There are many tools out there to supplement your progress in other areas of life - affirmations, vision board, gratitude etc. Even if you don’t use them in everyday life, that’s ok. Idea is to have them in your arsenal and know when to apply them. As you get better at this, one of the effects might be to trust more in the universe. Know that universe doesn’t give us what we want, but it does give us what we need. It might also lead you to be more spiritual, letting go and being not attached to outcomes. You begin to measure progress not based on the results, instead on the basis of your mindset and feelings.
4. Step out of your comfort zone
Do things that are slightly uncomfortable. Progressively overload. Especially in the aspect of life you are facing trouble in. Want to improve your social life? - Go to meetups, talk to people in your gym, host and invite acquaintances to events. Want to improve your dating life? - start conversations in parks, cafes and museums. Learn to be comfortable with rejection. Really enjoy doing a particular activity? - find and create a community of like minded people. Wanna try something new? - Try rock climbing, or go for a hike with a group, go to random cultural events. Take asymmetrical bets.
Closing Notes
Each of the above needs to be done 4-6x a week. Start small and build up. As you learn to integrate all 4 aspects mentioned above, you’ll start to become much more comfortable in your skin. You’ll cultivate the courage to be more of yourself even in intimidating situations. The ability to be a truest expression of oneself is ultimately what makes us happy. Once you start consistently doing the above, you’ll enter a flow state. You will quickly see that you are operating on higher frequency. When you operate on higher frequency, the reality around you will begin to change quickly; in a matter of days. Believe me this dimension exists.